Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Life drawing class

i drawn the lily pound

Friday, September 24, 2010

sometimes it happy
sometimes it sad
sometimes good
sometimes sick
i dont know maybe it never gets less or maybe not!

Monday, September 20, 2010

i'm sorry. i love you.

When he said he choose love and happiness,
my mouth felt like can't moved to say a word.
He make me felt that,
the time that tick fast become slower,
the madness are gone.
The noice became song.
The fighting are never happen.
Ohh god I'm so thankfull that I new him.
Such a good man.
Nothing can make me change my mind.
I do... I do... Want to be with you!
I do want u to holed me.
I do want to change my life.
And I do want to be With love and happiness..

I love you B!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010


ps:/sorry did update for long time..

in this past 5 mouths, lots of things has happen in my life.. after the tragedy..
i found him.. his name is Brendan Moses. yes he is black guy.. it's been 4 mouths already we are together.. im so happy every things is change now better more then ever ..

Monday, June 7, 2010


i used to be tried of being alone..
but at the time i get love i feel so emotion like sad ,
angry , jealous, love make me crazy..
but when im so far away from my love i felt like so lonely again.
i hate being jealous i make me cry, and my hearts being start a small hole and if i keep remember is it's getting bigger.
but when the time im not alone my hole will heal slowly..
and i will feel happy..
but in the time that jealous come back i will be another hole im my heart..
i wish i can make that hole gone and never come again..
i hate love but im in love and i love him more then anyone else..
i hate love....

Wednesday, April 21, 2010


i wish my life can just be like rainbow..
full of colors that have meaning of it..
the 7 colors bring you the greatest thing ever that you want.:-

red - i wish i can change the time.. and undo my mistakes

orange - i wish i'm rich..

yellow - i wish people can stop shitting me..

green - i wish i will be always happy..

blue - i wish can be more beautiful..

indigo - i wish i have the best life even in world and haven..

violet - and i wish.. i have the greatest lover that love me no matter what happen.........

Tuesday, April 20, 2010


some time when im alone..
i felt like something is missing in my hearts
i miss the feel that i been have before..
the feel that made your belly got butterfly in side it.
the feel that can make you hearts biting fast..
the feel that can me you always smile..
the feel that can bring you happiness, joy..
i wish that felt can come again!!
and this time!
when it come's i will never gone!!
until the end..

Friday, April 16, 2010

what goes around come around


hurm.. today.. i know what is happen around me..
i know why people talk shit about it... where is the true??
i dont know why people always love to talk back??
somehow i felt like want to killer people coz of this shit..
i did say anything about you or talk shit about u..
u you wanted to enter in my personal life?
do you feel like lie is the best way to cover ur you shit?
do you think like pointing finger to people is good for cover up you shit??
for the hole my like why fake people if around me?
and the fake love to point at me??
maybe cuz im just silent does not it mean that you can hit it to my head!!
the reason that im silent is not that im losing!
you should know me.. i will wait for the right time!! and i think the time is sooner then you tough!
every people know what goes around come around.. soon you will get what you wanted..
you will get the shit back.. and at that time i just might lough about it..
and people saw you at that time will hate you for what you have done..
im have to clean up my name.. yes it's hard to bull up.. but it so easy to get it down..
and when it's down deeply you will feel the same thing that i felt before..
dont think you are so perfect but you are not.. and never be..
people who life in lie is people who have a sickness in the head..

Her hearts

im lost pull me up..

i cant sleep.. im keep thinking about what is happening around me.. what is happening to me? what will be happen? and why is it happen? i got a lot of shit that happen around me.. i dont know why.. and where is it come from.. in this hole of April .. my phone is lost.. the blackberry phone that i get for my birthday.. the one that my mother and father gave me.. i lost my strange to study.. i did go to classes.. and i lost my best friend.. why she did text me.. why?? what happen to her?? why she did say hai to me at facebook or myspace.. or email me.. i dont know why.. i lost my camera nikon D40.. i dont know why is it lost the shit is just at my room.. dont know who took it from me... and the most thing i lost my self.. like i did even know my self.. what is happening to me? i lost my love.. i love my care.. i dont know why.. i miss all of this.. if i can change the time.. i will fix it.. i will fix what was happened.. dear my god give me a strange to pull up my self from this things that happen around me.. i made lots of people sad.. my mum.. my dad.. my sister and my friends.. maybe you see me lough, the happiness im my face. but im my heart what do you know? did you ever ask you self about it? did you ask your hearts?